Being a Friend

When I first became a big sister in August of 2009, I had no idea how much it would change my life.  I moved to Birmingham after college, and I knew I wanted to get involved but wasn’t sure how.  A friend in Atlanta had just started the BBBS program there and couldn’t say enough good things about the program.  His enthusiasm was contagious, and I immediately contacted BBBS when I got back to Birmingham.   About 6 months later, I was matched with Molley, a timid 7^th grader who was still very unsure of herself.

Our first few months together were somewhat challenging as I tried to figure out what my role was in her life.  I was consumed with making an effort to be a good “role model” and was constantly searching for signs that I was making a difference, waiting and hoping that she would open up to me about the difficulties in her life.  After a few months, I began to realize that what Molley wanted most was a friend- someone she could count on and someone she could trust to be there.  Once I stopped trying so hard to be the perfect role model, everything got much easier.  She was less nervous and began to let her guard down some, showing me signs of the creative and funny girl I now know.

Two and a half years later, I can’t believe how far we’ve both come.  There is a rhythm now between us and an ease to our outings. She is no longer shy or afraid to tell me what she wants to do and I can see her beginning to figure out who she is and what kind of person she wants to be.  Her enthusiasm and resilience inspire me and remind me not to worry so much.  There will always be challenges, but becoming a big sister will always be one of the greatest decisions I’ve ever made.  I am a much better person for having her in my life and I look forward to what the future will bring for both of us. 

                                                                                 ---Susan Shields

Getting What You Give

Stephen Firsing has only been in Birmingham for three and a half years, but he’s decided to leave a lasting impression on his new home, or at the very least 15 year old Jarvis Ward. “I understand the need for mentors for adolescent males in Birmingham,” he says. Stephen and Jarvis were matched in the spring of 2010, and the two have found a mutual and rewarding bond.

Stephen moved from his home state of New Jersey to obtain his doctorate in public health from UAB. He also works as the project coordinator for United Cerebral Palsy of Greater Birmingham, but he always finds time for his Little Brother. “We love to eat. We both have that in common,” he chuckles. “Jarvis and I like to try new things and new places.”

Jarvis is very interested in theater and recently participated in an acting camp and performed High School Musical sponsored by UAB’s ArtPlay. Stephen was an integral part in getting Jarvis into the program, and he is proud of what Jarvis has accomplished. “My goal is to help Jarvis and his family learn about the unlimited possibilities in life.”

Mentors have the ability to greatly impact their mentee, but many volunteers receive just as much as they give. Reflecting on his role as a Big Brother and the friendship he has forged, Stephen put it concisely, “I gained a friend. He gained a friend. The experience is unlike anything in the world.”

If you are interested in becoming a mentor, call (205) 939-5590 or visit www.bbbsbhm.org.

Camp Hargis 2011

Camp Hargis sits on a secluded lake several miles down Highway 280 and away from the bustle of Birmingham. It is the classic summer camp facility with cabins, fields, and a scenic view – the perfect place for 35 Littles to experience new things and enjoy being a kid. Many of our Littles don’t have opportunities to spend time in the country, and it was exciting to see them branching out.

We loaded up the bus early on Monday morning at the BBBS office and made it to camp with just enough time to put our things away, relax, and then head for lunch. Afterwards we put life jackets on and swam in the lake. Some of our Littles were not use to dark water, and they were very cautious. By the end of camp though, they had grown accustomed and loved the sandy bottom and cool water. The more adventurous children swam to the deep part and climbed a large inflatable rock, somersaulting and flipping into the lake below.

Canoeing was a lesson on unity as the children sat three and four per boat and used their paddles to cut through the lake. The thrill and mystery of the water beneath them only produced turtles and small fish, but to some children’s imaginations it held much more. The clear and predictable camp pool offered respite and kept us cool as the sun descended on our first day.

Dinner was followed by a lip synching contest sponsored by our Young Advisory Board. Each YAB member led a team of campers in choreographing and performing such retro hits as “Kung Fu Fighting” and “Ice Ice Baby”. Having spent all day warming up to each other and making friends, the teams were charismatic and funny as they performed for their peers. The children then retired to their beds, drowsy but still excited to be there. They talked and laughed until they finally drifted off to sleep.

It was another beautiful and sunny day at Camp Hargis when we awoke. There was more swimming and canoeing in the lake, and we took periodic breaks of doing crafts and playing board games in the air conditioned lodge to keep everyone healthy. The children, full of energy, then played on the playground and tossed football in the adjacent field. They also learned archery and practiced by shooting a haystack bullseye.

When night fell and the cicadas came out, we hiked a short distance to the fire pit. A couple of CIT’s entertained us with an acoustic guitar and a dramatic monologue as the fire jumped and crackled. Our CEO, Sue Johnson, spoke some inspirational words and challenged all the Littles to graduate high school and to pursue further education. We then found some sticks and roasted marshmallows for smores – another first for many of the children.

The following morning would be our last at Camp Hargis. The children were sad to leave, but happy to be reunited with their families. It had been a long and eventful two days, and they left with new friends and new memories. As the school year starts and students inevitably compare their summers, the Littles of the Big Brothers Big Sisters Camp Hargis 2011 trip will have some stories to tell.

For more information on becoming a mentor, call Big Brothers Big Sisters at (205) 939-5590 or visit www.bbbsbhm.org. 

Twenty Five Years and Counting

When Tina DiMonte first became a mentor to LaShaun Brown in 1986, she had no idea the strength and longevity their relationship would have. Through all these years and trials, Tina has been an outstanding example for LaShaun, and now the two share a mutual adult friendship.  They are thrilled to be celebrating 25 years as a Big and a Little, as well as LaShaun’s recent graduation from Samford University.

LaShaun was in second grade when she met Tina. They enjoyed skating, bowling, and going to the movies. “I wasn’t use to going to different places,” LaShaun says. “She took me on trips.”

Tina offered LaShaun the confidence that she could become anything she wanted to in life if she studied and stayed in school. “I stressed education, education, education,” Tina says. “I guess what I preached sunk in.”

LaShaun received her Bachelor’s Degree in Human Resource Management from Samford University in May after much diligence and hard work. “Tina was the main reason I went back to college.” She plans to get her Master’s Degree in counseling from UAB so she can fulfill her dream of helping young women.

“That woman has pulled herself up to become a strong, independent, and good woman.”  Tina beams. “I am humbled by the way she took on and beat the odds against her. I am humbled by her success in life by making something of herself, and I feel so privileged to have been a part of this young woman’s life. I’m so proud of her!”

Tina and LaShaun’s friendship shows no signs of stopping. They email every day, and Tina is godmother to LaShaun’s oldest son, Joseph. They are ideal models of what mentoring can accomplish and proof that the mentoring relationship fostered in Big Brothers Big Sisters can extend far beyond the program’s age limits.

“Everyone should step up and help someone in some type of way,” LaShaun says. “Youth today need guidance, and they need to see there is always a way out. Big Brothers Big Sisters really helped me.”

Fun and Inexpensive Activity Ideas for the Summer

School is out and long summer days are ahead, but don’t settle for watching TV or playing video games all season long with your Little. The Birmingham area has plenty of fun and inexpensive things to offer. Try one of these great ideas!

Ruffner Mountain Nature Preserve

Located just a few miles from downtown Birmingham, Ruffner Mountain Nature Preserve has over 1,000 acres of protected forests to explore. The park has 12 miles of trails for hiking that lead to bluffs and spectacular views. Be sure to visit the Nature Center to learn about the mining history of the site and to see some indigenous Alabama animals. You can download guides from their website to help you identify the plants and animals you will see along your hike. Ruffner Mountain is also a great spot for geocaching, or finding hidden items using GPS. With so many things to see and do at Ruffner Mountain, you can make a whole day of it! Admission is free, although a donation of $2 per person is appreciated.

Free Friday Flicks and Sundown Cinema

Both of these free, outdoor movie series’ offer films that will appeal to young and old, Bigs and Littles. Free Friday Flicks takes place at Homewood Central Park. The movies start right at sundown (approximately 8:15pm), but go early to play in the bounce house. If you don’t like what they’re showing in Homewood, you can head to Old Town Helena to catch their Sundown Cinema series. It’s nice to have options!

                                    Free Friday Flicks                               Sundown Cinema

June 10                        Shrek                                                  Shrek Forever After

June 17                        The Wizard of Oz                                Iron Man 2

June 24                        E.T.                                                     Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa

July 1                           Despicable Me                                    How to Train Your Dragon

July 8                           SpongeBog SquarePants                     Footlose

July 15                         Over the Hedge                                   Racing Stripes

July 22                         Chicken Run                                       Megamind

July 29                         Rango                                                 The Blind Side

August 5                      Tangled                                               Tangled

Railroad Park

Railroad Park is a 19 acre oasis that connects Southside with Downtown. Sprawling fields are bordered by a pond and walking track, and the historic railroad district and Birmingham skyline provide a picturesque backdrop to your summer play. It is the perfect place to have a picnic, throw a Frisbee, walk your dogs, or just relax. The park also offers two different playgrounds, a skate park, and an outside gym.

Jefferson County Public Libraries

Many of the Jefferson County Public Libraries have unique events planned all summer long. You are sure to find something that you and your Little will both find interesting. Head over to the Hoover Public Library to watch comedic plays, dance with a children’s musician, or make your own music in a rhythm drum circle. Don’t think your Little would enjoy any of that? Homewood Public Library has a photo scavenger hunt for budding photographers and a zombie party for those who aren’t faint at heart. You can rush over to the North Birmingham Public Library for an Amazing Race-style book hunt, or sit in amazement at Magic Man Larry Moore and learn a few tricks yourself!

Remember, being a mentor isn’t about spending a lot of money to keep your Little entertained. It’s about forming a bond and finding common ground. With so many inexpensive and exciting options in Birmingham this summer, don’t be afraid to try something new!

Do you have some inexpensive and creative ideas for summer outings not listed here? Leave them in the comments.

For more information on how you can impact the life of a child by becoming a mentor, call (205) 939-5590 or visit www.bbbsbhm.org.

A Little Perspective

Cameron is at a time in his life where he is starting to grow up and branch out. His mother, Kimberly, wants her son to use this period wisely to broaden his horizons. “Cameron gets his country perspective of life from me. I don’t know much about the city way of life,” she said. “Cameron could learn a new perspective from a mentor - different religions, different walks of life.”

Cameron, who is 12 years old, already has a long list of interests – camping, riding bikes, collecting knives, hunting, cooking, playing video games, and socializing on his new cell phone. He wants to be a professional basketball player one day, but he also has a love of animals. Kimberly, a dog groomer, occasionally takes him to work with her in the summer. “Cameron is great with dogs. He’s a good worker.”

Kimberly says her son needs a mentor to help fill the void left when his biological big brother leaves for the army. The two spend a lot of time together, and Cameron will miss him while he’s gone. It’s important for Cameron to have a role model that can spend time and share interests with him.

  

Mentors have the ability to give new, profound experiences and views to their mentees. Cameron and other Littles waiting to be matched are eager for these experiences to shape their future. After all, a little perspective goes a long way.

Planning for Success

Like many of the children waiting to be matched with a Big Brothers Big Sisters mentor, fourteen-year-old Isaiah has big goals in life. One of those goals is to be a professional athlete. He's already got a huge fan, his mother, Sylvia, but now he's looking for someone else to cheer him on.

"I want a Big Brother to look up to, to show me the right direction," Isaiah said. "I want to learn to have a positive influence and be a better leader." Sylvia knows how important a mentor could be to helping her son achieve his goals. She wants a mentor for Isaiah who can show him "how to set a goal and how to attain that goal. How to be a winner instead of a quitter." The NFL or MLB, where Isaiah wants to end up one day, accepts only the best athletes, but drive, determination, and leadership are all as important as physical ability.

Isaiah's interests aren't only in sports, however. He's a smart student who wants to own his own business, and he's gearing up for a part in a movie his church is producing. He would thrive with a mentor who is as well rounded as he is. "A Christ-centered person with integrity who can show Isaiah how to treat a lady," Sylvia said of her ideal mentor for her son. Isaiah would like a mentor who can play sports, too, of course.

Although he hasn't decided between becoming a business tycoon or a professional athlete, Isaiah is planning for success. A mentor could help him by being a good example and instilling values that will aid him throughout his life - whether he ends up on the cover of Forbes, has his own Wheaties box, or just grows up to become an honorable and successful adult.

Isaiah is one of many children in the Birmingham area that is waiting to be matched with a mentor from Big Brothers Big Sisters. To learn more about becoming a mentor, visit http://www.bbbsbhm.org/ or call (205) 939-5590.